Family

I have an AMAZING family. My mom, my sister, and I are the immediate family. My mother has four siblings, one older, and three younger. I get along with all of my family, and I am blessed enough to live near almost all of them (Sheree, and Jason we miss you, and the boys!)
  My only complaint, and I know that it is so selfish to complain when you have so much to be grateful for, but my only complaint is my sister. I know that as you are younger you don't always get along with your siblings, but I genuinely feel like my sister hates me. I know that it sounds harsh, and it breaks my heart to say so, but I honestly think she does. I'm not saying that I am perfect, because I know that I am far from it.
 When she was going through all that she was going through in high-school I shut down. I couldn't handle it I slipped further and further into depression, began to throw myself into anything that I could to get my mind off of my home life, and then the self mutilation started, scratching, and cutting, anything that could take my mind off the pain.
 I became bitter, and resentful to my Sister, and my Mother (though my Mom and I have moved past it) for upsetting my seemingly perfect life. In hind sight that was the biggest mistake of my life, I was being selfish and instead of looking out for her, and instead of helping her through her issues all I could do was focus on me and how my life was upset.
 If there were anything I could do to go back in time and fix it I would. Instead we struggle with this "relationship" if you can even call it that. I long for a sister so bad. I try, and I try, and I try with her only to get burned every time. We have some heartfelt breakthrough and make up and promise to keep in touch and to get along better, we forgive for past sins, and all is good, and calm on the home front for a week, a month, six months, she'll come over for dinner, we'll go to lunch, and then somehow something happens and we're back to square one.
 It seems to be me who always takes the first step and it seems to be me who calls to schedule lunch dates or shopping trips, and slowly we start to drift again, and then I do something wrong, and there is a fight, and we have to start over again. I am just so TIRED of this cycle. People say that they fight with siblings, and then they grow out of it and become best friends, and I honestly wish that would just happen with us.
 I love my sister, and even when it feels like all I want to do is slap some sense into her. I just wish that we could honestly put all of the issues that we had in the past behind us. I know I know that I fucked up in high school, and that I should have been more concerned with her, but I can't go back and fix it. I just don't know what to do I want things to be o.k. with us. Unfortunately I don't see that happening. How do you stop someone from hating you?